Flipping the Festive Script: Seasonal Survival Guide for Empathic Rebels - Part One.
As the festive season rolls around, I notice something interesting in my coaching practice: the stuff my clients have been wrestling with all year? It tends to get loud around now. It all comes to a head. So I want to take a look at what's really blocking us, how we can actually shift it, and—here's the radical part—how we might genuinely enjoy this time of year by giving ourselves permission to honor what we actually need.
A lot of us are here because we're drawn to living differently. More authentically. In a way that feels true to who we actually are. So what happens when December rolls around with its baggage of "the way things are supposed to be"—the traditions, the family gatherings, the very loud messaging about what matters? What if none of that actually lands for you?
Maybe you've already started questioning the conditioning and building new ways of being in your personal or professional life. But the holidays? It's like someone turned both the contrast and the volume way up. Everything gets more intense.
Here's what I want to suggest: this isn't a test (we're done with school). It's actually a sacred invitation to walk the talk. In the midst of all the calendar chaos, the tricky family moments, the overwhelming spaces—how do we stay true to the new blueprints we're building?
Let's start by naming what I see come up again and again. Grab a cup of tea and see which of these hit home for you.
Introducing…
The Seasonal Soul-Suckers
Co-dependency: I can't feel OK unless they feel OK.
Consensus reality: There are just certain things I have to tolerate at this time of year. That's just how it is.
Control freakery: I have to do things for people who are perfectly capable, because I can't sit with the discomfort and I don't know who I am unless I'm being helpful.
Comparison: Jemima makes her own wreaths and cranberry sauce—which makes me a bad person for not doing those things.
Perfectionism: If everything doesn't go perfectly, then I'm a bad friend/parent/family member and the whole holiday is ruined.
Self-neglect: I'm exhausted and burned out, but so is everyone else, right? So I'll just push through.
Self-abandonment: My passion project and my self-care keep getting pushed aside. They can wait until January.
People-pleasing: If I don't gift enough, gift extravagantly, or give everyone my time and energy in these two weeks, they won't love or value me.
Fear of judgment: If I do what actually feels right to me, they'll think I'm selfish, weird, antisocial, not fun enough. Apparently I should be dancing on tables, not at home with my cat watching films.
Feeling unworthy: The festive season just isn't for people like me. (Insert your version: people without partners, without kids, without close family, without money for gifts, people who don't love groups, people who seem less shiny than everyone else.)
Treating a moment like your whole life: Whatever I'm feeling or "achieving" in December—or especially on New Year's Eve—somehow becomes the story of my entire year. A mediocre New Year's Eve means a mediocre life, apparently.
Weaponizing time: December shows up and suddenly I'm supposed to audit my whole year in one neat block. What should I have accomplished? How should I have felt? Did I do enough?
False scarcity: Another year gone. I'm running out of time. There's never enough time (or energy or money) to do what I actually want, especially with everything else going on.
Let’s pause and take a breath…
If you've been reading along and a few of these are really landing - if you're seeing patterns you didn't expect or feeling a shift already - you’re already doing well. Recognition is always the first step. But shifting the actual energy, releasing what's been locked in place, and living from the new blueprint? That's where the real transformation happens.
This is exactly where an Intuitive Energy Review comes in. It's a one-off session with me, where we don't just talk about the patterns - we dive into what's actually blocking you at an energetic level, and I give you bespoke Spirit-led guidance on how to shift it. You leave with greater self-trust and a spring in your step. And if you're thinking of giving a meaningful gift this season, an Intuitive Energy Review for someone you care about can be genuinely transformative for them too.
The Invitation
Now let’s try reframing those dusty old statements! From a place of self-permission, sovereignty, and actually honoring this season as sacred. In your own sweet time, in your own sweet way…
Find a time where you won’t be disturbed. Maybe you’re already rattled about the upcoming season?
Take a look through the affirmations below. Go with your gut and pick some that stand out to you.
Say one out loud. How does it feel to hear it in the room? How does it land in your energy?
Try some others on for size, as see how they feel in your body.
The Re-Frames
Co-dependency:
I am enough. The way I lead my own life is enough. The way I lead others is enough. I provide enough for others, and I am enough for others. I allow myself to be a work in progress where I can deepen and enhance the quality of life for myself and others.
This is a co-creative journey, and I am open to forms of help and interaction which remind me that this is a supportive and cooperative universe. A mix of energies can create the best outcomes for all. Nothing is ever squarely on my shoulders to carry.
I lead by example in this era of my life. By tending to my own wellbeing, I become a channel for greater abundance, solutions, and positive outcomes. Just by being around me and the energy I exude—especially when I've taken time to cultivate that good energy—people are more likely to find their own answers, solutions, and positive manifested outcomes.
Consensus reality:
I can build my own notion of time and derive my own meanings from the passing of time and the value I extract from my lived experience. I can make time sacred with my intention, and I can choose my own traditions to mark the passing of time. My eras of empowerment can be measured by the way I feel and not only what has materialised in connection to linear time.
I am grateful to observe what can seem like dominant energies, ideas, and norms, because I have the power to adopt those things or not—and I relish in that free will. I also relish in the discernment I get from observing values, norms, and behaviours that don't feel like a good fit for me, because it gives me greater clarity on my perfect fit.
When I relax and step away from external stimuli and dominant norms, I can see my own power to create and put my own unique spin on things. When I come from this position, people are very responsive to what I create. In the same way that I am using my unique energy to create a better blueprint for my life, I can use my unique energy at the holiday season.
Control freakery:
I show respect to myself and others by allowing them to resolve their own dilemmas and to use their own intelligence and resourcefulness. I empower other people by giving them the room to work through some of their emotional discomforts and develop more emotional intelligence and resilience.
I trust in myself and other people when I delegate. I am working towards soothing my nervous system and helping people to soothe theirs and to self-regulate when I give them the space to interpret their own life experience. I respect the need of a person's soul through the mix of lived experience to extract clarity, value, and personal power.
By stepping back and allowing people to do things for themselves, I am helping them to be in their main character energy. I am taking a break from being the wise mentor archetype and freeing myself to explore my own main character energy.
Comparison:
I can't create from someone else's experience. I can only create from my own, and from that wellhead all things are possible and can be manifested in a way that is perfectly tailored to my deepest needs and desires.
I am a creator of my own experience, and I am most powerful when creating from my own inner visions, values, and preferences rather than responding to external ideas and values. I am enough, and my ideas and offerings are enough.
Perfectionism:
I relax and leave room for the divine to share its contribution—to orchestrate and invent in ways I could not have imagined or forced into being, but that respond perfectly to my deepest desires. Energy flows better when we leave room for spontaneity and improvisation.
The more I relax, the more others are receptive and readily appreciative of anything I offer in the world. I am safe and will continue to be safe even when things don't go according to plan.
When I was growing up, I learned to manage the anxiety of those around me by choosing very specific behaviours. When I release the need to manage the anxiety of those around me, I become less anxious myself.
Self-Neglect:
There is always time and space to rest, recuperate, and get back into my power. I serve others better from a full cup. If I tell myself and the universe that it is safe and appropriate to rest, then the additional time, energy, and resources will show up for me later.
Self-Abandonment:
There is always time and space to honour that which is most important to me and is about the expansion of my soul. This doesn't have to be time-consuming or energy-consuming, but it's an intention of energy to reserve time for passion projects and more nuanced forms of self-care, even during busy times.
People-Pleasing:
When I relax and take time to cultivate my energy, the focus shifts to quality, not only quantity. I find that any energy exchange with others is imbued with greater quality, no matter the amount of time, energy, or money spent.
I embrace the spontaneity of giving and how acts of spontaneity can be more valuable. I recognise that these opportunities to give and receive can take place all throughout the year and on a person-to-person basis.
Fear of Judgement:
I delight in my own unique energies and ways of being. I delight in my discernment to craft experiences that reflect who I am on a soul level. I am naturally attracted to magic, mystery, and honouring the cycles of nature—drawing joy from the returning light and taking time to embody the spirit of gratitude for its own sake.
I am inventive in the ways I give and show appreciation. I have fun when I make things my own experience. From this energetic standpoint, I attract people who have fun in the same ways as me. It's easy for me to attract like minds that speak to wherever I am on my journey, and this has nothing to do with calendar time.
I seek connection in my own way—whether that is person-to-person experience, connection with nature or animals, or connection to groups of people—and I can choose which is the best fit for me. I also delight in synchronicities and observing how my energy and unique soul imprint is reflected back to me in my day-to-day experience. Therefore, I can enjoy divinely infused relationship to anything: birdsong, music, a book, time spent in a group of friends.
By respecting my energies, I'm more likely to find synergy and resonance in every type of relationship and interaction. The more I fall in love with my own way of doing things, the more I am matched with the energy outside of me. This is what helps me build a network and community to enjoy things with at any time of year.
Feeling unworthy (especially in social settings):
I delight in my own unique energies and ways of being. I delight in my discernment to craft experiences that reflect who I am on a soul level. I am naturally attracted to magic, mystery, and honouring the cycles of nature—drawing joy from the returning light and taking time to embody the spirit of gratitude for its own sake.
I am inventive in the ways I give and show appreciation. I have fun when I make things my own experience. From this energetic standpoint, I attract people who have fun in the same ways as me. It's easy for me to attract like minds that speak to wherever I am on my journey, and this has nothing to do with calendar time.
I seek connection in my own way—whether that is person-to-person experience, connection with nature or animals, or connection to groups of people—and I can choose which is the best fit for me. I also delight in synchronicities and observing how my energy and unique soul imprint is reflected back to me in my day-to-day experience. Therefore, I can enjoy divinely infused relationship to anything: birdsong, music, a book, time spent in a group of friends.
By respecting my energies, I'm more likely to find synergy and resonance in every type of relationship and interaction. The more I fall in love with my own way of doing things, the more I am matched with the energy outside of me. This is what helps me build a network and community to enjoy things with at any time of year.
Treating a moment like your whole life (the skewed microcosm):
It is comforting and inspiring to know that there are infinite versions of vibrational reality. There are infinite ways to experience New Year's Eve, for example, and I revel in selecting and imprinting the vibration for a chosen day or timeframe. I give myself enough time to intend and create this energy foundation so that the energy is there to greet and soothe me when the day arrives.
I enjoy listening to and respecting my emotions. Every one of my emotions is valid on any given point in the day, month, or year. I love the richness of my emotional world, and I know it's possible to shape and improve emotion for my own empowerment or delight, rather than conforming to other people's expectations.
Weaponizing Time:
It is healthy to audit or constructively review my life's journey, and it is my choice when I want to do that. This reviewing works best when I am feeling centred, strong, and secure. I can do this in my own time, and I don't have to review my journey just because it's a specific date on the calendar.
I can enjoy the rhythms of time and the cycles of nature. That is a personal, intimate experience between me and nature, me and the divine, me and myself. When I choose to mark time and intend that it is sacred—to reflect upon my progress from one point in time to another—this can be on any date that I wish.
False scarcity / mortality:
My journey of life is not a race, and I don't necessarily have a better experience when things manifest quicker or are achieved quicker or in greater quantities. My journey is one of quality, embodiment, and resonance. I don't only ‘arrive’ at the end of a timeline when I've ticked things off my list—I can arrive in any moment. This is indicated by my emotions, my knowings, and my degree of fulfilment.
I am open to any thoughts, ideas, habits, or practices which increase my sense of fulfilment and connection with Source in the present moment. Although I enjoy conscious application in my projects and goals, the more I indulgently focus on fulfilment and anything that creates that experience within me, the more I find that I attract elements to accelerate and empower my journey in the best fitting way for me.
How are you feeling now? These reframes are medicine. But if something in you is saying "I need support with this" - I'm here, and I can't wait to work with you.
In PART TWO, we’re going to look at how to manifest from this new blueprint, and send some fabulous energy ahead of yourself for the festive season. Sign up to my mailing list below so you don’t miss it!
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